This is Part 3 of the story – for context,
please read Parts 1 & 2.
This was an unusual honeymoon. Betty and Gene had only
known each other for three months, following a ten-day relationship. Their
infatuation, not even sure you can call it love at this point, was still
burning hot on their honeymoon in Niagara Falls. This meant they engaged in
frequent procreating activity. So, it should not be surprising that they indeed
procreated during this trip.
Up to this point, they may have been living in a fantasy
world, but it just got real. It GOT REAL, real tough, real fast. Betty and Gene
had been acting like young lovers, but now it was time to face the adult world.
Betty called it her love-child. Maybe it was more of an
infatuation-child. This was not the immaculate conception, but in their minds,
it was a miraculous conception. A few months ago, they never thought they were
ever going to be parents, and then without warning: Boom! Boom! Boom! Yeah,
life was coming at them fast, and it was all good.
However, this unexpected, unplanned pregnancy created the
first test of their still-fragile relationship. The intention was for Betty to
keep working for a while until they saved up enough to have a child, but that
plan was now shattered. You could argue that they should have been more
cautious on that honeymoon, but remember, they had gotten engaged after knowing
each other for ten days. Caution had been thrown to a whirlwind, and no one was
thinking clearly.
The expectant baby created a crisis. Betty may have been
willing to make sacrifices to live in that small apartment, but that concession
applied only to her. She delivered an edict: “No child of mine is going to be
raised in a small apartment.” This was non-negotiable. Gene had a big, urgent
problem on his hands.
They needed a house now, but they had little money. The
pressure was on; the clock was ticking, and there was no easy solution. Now you
might expect Betty’s prosperous family to help them out of this jam. And family
did step up, stepped up big time. But it wasn’t Betty’s family, incredibly, it
was Gene’s Uncle Frank. Uncle Frank gave, not loaned, the money for the entire
down payment. Sadly, Frank died a little over a year after this most generous
act. (You can’t take it with you, so you may as well use it for great things while
you are still here.)
This bailed them out of a tight spot. But you still have
two strong-willed, stubborn, independent people, set in their ways, not used to
compromise, with bad tempers, living in the same house. And they still don’t
really know each other. Despite everything, how was this marriage ever going to
make it long term? This union still had disaster written all over it, except
for this wild-card they had suddenly been dealt.
The house was purchased, and the Kid arrived. And while
usual circumstances put Betty and Gene together, the whirlwind of activity pushed
them closer together. But long term, the thing that kept them together was the
Kid. The Kid was the focus; he was the glue to this relationship.
No, they didn’t stay together in a bad marriage for “the
sake of the child”. They made the marriage work. They MADE IT WORK because there was something,
well, someone, who was more important than anything. And making this
relationship prosper was tough, difficult work in the early years. There was considerable
conflict. Yelling, lots of yelling. But the anger never persisted; there were no
long-term grudges. After all, there was a child to raise. This turned out to be
one of those few marriages that got stronger and stronger over time.
Gene turned out to be a great father, remarkable because he
was raised without one. He had no role model, other than those uncles. He
recognized that his son had not inherited much of his mechanical ability, nor
his love of hunting or fishing. But he never forced the Kid into being
something he wasn’t. Gene passed along his Pennsylvania Dutch values to the Kid.
You work hard for what you achieve, but you never brag about your
accomplishments because you are no better than anyone else.
Gene was pleased the Kid had inherited most of his
intelligence, and strongly encouraged his scholarly pursuits. Gene knew how much he had been restrained by
his lack of education and wanted the Kid to have all the opportunities he
lacked. This was so important to him that even though the grandparents on both
sides had provided full funding for the Kid’s college, Gene paid every penny of
the costs himself.
Betty had extremely high standards for her son. She also
knew she had fallen short of her potential due to health issues and
circumstances. The fact that the Kid was being raised in a working-class home
instead of something more prestigious meant that the Kid was just going to have
to work harder to get where he needed to be.
So she pushed the Kid hard. He was expected to succeed
because he was her son, and that heritage made him exceptional in her eyes. There
was no ridicule for failures, but there was no compassion either. Winning was assumed.
Losing is supposed to hurt. If you don’t like the pain you’re feeling, then
perhaps you’ll put forth a better effort next time. But she also supported the
Kid, guided the Kid, provided the best she could for the Kid, loved the Kid.
And always, always wanted the very best for “her child”.
It began as a chance encounter in a small neighborhood bar.
Two very different, desperate people infatuated with each other because they
had only a few things in common: They were desperate to find love, they wanted
a family, and they were quickly running out of time. But bit by bit, step by
step, the relationship hung on, and then it flourished. It was patient, it was
kind. It did not envy, it did not boast, it was not self-seeking. It was not
easily angered (okay, this one’s a stretch), it kept no record of wrongs (this
makes up for the last one). It did not delight in evil, but rejoiced in truth.
It always protected, always trusted, always hoped. And it persevered -and never
failed – until literally “death do us part”. It turned into love; strong,
enduring love, in its purest form.
This
is for all the lonely people
Thinking
that life has passed them by
Don’t
give up until you drink from the silver cup
And
ride that highway in the sky
-Dan Peek
Next Time: Part 4 – The Epilogue - How did The Kid turn out?
No comments:
Post a Comment