The Most Interesting Blog Post in the World

He used to smoke joints, now his joints are smoked

He still listens to K.C. & The Sunshine Band – on a 8-track player

He has more hair growing on his back, than is growing on his head

He is - the most middle-aged man in the world

I don’t eat ice cream often, but when I do, I prefer dos de cucharas (two scoops)

I don’t dance often, but when I do, I prefer the dos paso (two step)

I don't drive sports cars often, but when I do, I prefer dos puertas (two doors)

He can explain the benefits of a Roth IRA

He smokes a pipe – filled will legal substances

He has man-boobs that make teen-age girls envious

He is - the most middle-aged man in the world

I don’t drink Pepsi often, but when I do, I prefer dos litros (two liters)

I don’t wear glasses often, but when I do, I prefer dos vidrios (two lenses)

I don’t have threesomes often, but when I do, I prefer dos gemelas (two twins)

He knows why his wife is upset with him – without even asking

He used to play lacrosse.  Now he just drives one.

He believes corn-holing should be done in private

He is - the most middle-aged man in the world

I don’t wear footwear often, but when I do, I prefer dos zapatos (two shoes)

I don’t fly small planes often, but when I do, I prefer dos motors (two engines)

I don’t get complete physical exams often, but when I do, I prefer dos enfermeras (two nurses)

He knows how to properly hit a lob wedge

He used to go back packing.  Now he packs his back in ice.

He knows how much fiber he can eat -- without blowing out his shorts

He is - the most middle-aged man in the world

I don’t eat hamburgers often, but when I do, I prefer dos pastelillos (two patties)

I don’t shoot shotguns often, but when I do, I prefer dos canons (two barrels)

I don’t marry trophy wives often, but when I do, I prefer veintidós años de edad (22-year olds)

He has experienced the benefits of compound interest

The kids in the neighborhood call him Buddha – but not for his wisdom

He used to spend money to be authentically hip.  He now spends it on artificial hips.

He is - the most middle-aged man in the world

I don’t tee off often, but when I do, I prefer dos maderas (two woods)

I don’t play poker often, but when I do, I prefer dos ases (two aces)

I don’t use small bills often, but when I do, I prefer dos dolares (two dollars)

He can calculate his own cholesterol level

He knows the best way to prepare for a colonoscopy

He just bought a new shaver – for his ear hair

He is - the most middle-aged man in the world

I don’t use sugar often, but when I do, I prefer dos cubos (two cubes)

I don’t throw fastballs often, but when I do, I prefer dos costuras (two seamers)

I don’t wear bras often, but when I do, I prefer dos copas (two cups)

Keep breathing my friends