The Amish Are Hot! - Literally

It’s been a painfully slow news-summer, but I was still shocked to see this headline in my local paper*:

Amish Cope With Heat Without Air Conditioning –

My first thought is they should have added the sub-headline: As they have for almost 500 years.

But the article was serious and I became alarmed that the Amish, like some tree frogs and rodents, might be in danger of becoming extinct due to global warming. But no, the angle was the Amish could not “avoid the discomfort of the overbearing temperatures” because they “eschew” electricity. (As, of course, they have for almost 500 years).

The topic so enthralled the newspaper, they sent a reporter out in the field, literally an Amish field, to discover how the Amish are able to survive the oppressive summer heat.

An Amish guy named Yoder said he just sweats it out. That’s right, the Amish must use that primitive human function, which has existed since mankind began, to cool their bodies in the summer. Yoder also said he opens his windows, and lets the door swing open to take advantage of something known as a “breeze”. “You just kinda get used to the heat”, Yoder concluded. ‘The reporter states that the Amish use fans (battery or propane powered) whenever they can, but for the most part, they just grin and bear it.”*   

But Now For The Sage Advice

The article could have ended there, but because the reporter thinks the Amish also eschew intelligence, he went and asked some local experts what the Amish could do to stay cool. *

The Advice:

1.    Stay Inside – Of course, if your income is derived from working outside in the summer – say as a farmer or roofer – I’m not sure this is going to work.

2.    Stay Hydrated – with water or Gatorade. Wow, these experts are good! I’m sure the Amish hadn’t thought of that one. And since the Amish are such great athletes, they probably already have plenty of Gatorade on hand.

3.    Dress Appropriately – Well, I don’t reckon the Amish have a summer wardrobe, and modesty would prevent the showing of much skin. So, don’t expect the Amish ladies to start flashing halter tops. Although, if they did, I’m sure the next breaking news headline in this paper would read:

 Amish Women Have Breasts – and some are even impressive 

4.    Keep a Cool Bucket of Water and Towel Handy – This type of advice is only possible from experts with college degrees.

5.    Stay Out of the Sun – Also take frequent breaks, and stand in a windy area. The experts point out that this cooling advice works not only for the Amish, but for the English too! 

My Personal Experience

Yes, this article was filled with critical advice for the Amish to survive the summer heat, but it had a much deeper meaning for me. I now realize I am fortunate to be alive. For I did not have air-conditioning growing up. Now unlike the Amish, we didn’t lack electricity – what we did lack was money. Air-conditioning was considered a luxury for a blue-collar household in the city.

What we did have is what I will call Pennsylvania Dutch air conditioning, which consisted of putting box fans blowing air out of the two front windows, with one fan in the back hall, pulling air out of the two bedrooms. This created a constant wind tunnel, cooling down the house.

However, I still remember those hot, muggy nights when I slept at the foot of my bed so I would be directly in the jet stream as it were. You heard that right, sometimes I HAD TO SLEEP AT THE FOOT OF THE BED TO SURVIVE! Oh, the horror! Oh, the humanity! Because just like the Amish – I HAD NO AIR CONDITIONING!

But thank goodness! Through sweating and drinking lots of water (although my father preferred beer) – just like the Amish, somehow, I survived – Yes, I have survived. And survived to write about it.

* This is actual content from the article