The Water Is Super Fine
I finally entered the warm, sauna-like, waters of the
Gulf. This is actually part of the brain
rejuvenation process because it involves immersing my just shaved head into the
salt water. This experience is exhilarating
and painful at the same time, but it loosens up any remaining gunk left in my
cranium.
My main challenge was to properly secure myself into my
swimsuit because unlike Anthony Weiner, I don’t enjoy publically displaying my
junk. This is especially true when “shrinkage” is involved.
The water felt so good I spent an extended time in the
ocean. Of course this gave me a prime position
to “observe” the women gathering shells on the shoreline. At one point the ladies ran back up the
shore. This alarmed me because I thought
a shark had been spotted, which would have been really, really, bad considering
my location. However, the cause of the
concern was a “Bum Looker Alert” which means a bum looker had been spotted in
the vicinity. I do believe this was a
false alarm because I carefully peered over the entire area and saw no sign of
the perpetrator.
Vacation Reading List
I decided to read a fiction book this year on
vacation. This is unusual because I do
not enjoy reading fiction. This is
because I did some research a while ago and was able to determine that stuff
written in fiction books is not true, in effect, it is actually false. Apparently so called “fiction” writers can
just make stuff up, total fabrications if you will, and people actually buy
it. Just like politicians!
The reason I choose fiction this year is that my
childhood friend Tim Stutler just published his second novel, Hillari’s
Head. I just finished the book, but I can’t
give you an accurate review. This is because I don’t read novels and thus I
have nothing to compare it to. However I
will say this: I don’t like reading fiction, but I really enjoyed reading this
book! So I sense Hillari’s Head is a
very good novel and you should read it if you like novels and especially if you
enjoy courtroom drama.
Tim Stutler is an outstanding writer. This means that although I am a good writer, I
am not even the best writer in my high school graduating class! Not bad for a city school.
I Shall Return
After my first two vacation chronicle posts, there were
several reports on the Internet that I was having such a great time in Florida
that I had decided to stay here permanently and was not returning to Ohio. Those rumors are false. Any thoughts of staying here were shattered
when I found out the “modest” condo where I am staying has an asking price of
around $600,000. So yes I will be coming
home. But I am a bit concerned with the congratulatory,
enthusiastic, e-mail I received from my boss after he heard the rumors that I would
not be returning to Ohio.
Most Interesting Thing I Saw Today:
I enjoyed watching the pelicans eat breakfast near the
shoreline at sunrise.
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