Ake's Pains debuted in the University of Akron Buchtelite in September of 1977. The school's reputation as an institute of higher learning has still not recovered. Ake's Pains returns after a brief 32 year hiatus. It's back, baby!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

The Sanibel Vacation Chronicles –Part 4 (the epilogue)

Vacation is an interesting word.  It means to vacate your current “residence” to temporarily escape to a better place. All other words from the same root: evacuate, vacant, eviction, have negative connotations, but vacation is one of the most wonderful words in the English language.  There is no word for “returning from vacation” because we do not assign words to concepts this and disgusting.

I really, really, needed this vacation.  I had let issues, problems and circumstances create an unhealthy amount of stress the last few months.  I actually experienced burnout about ten days before my vacation and just sort of drifted through the haze until departure day.

This vacation needed to be awesome and it was. It was one of my best vacations ever. It was a time of total relaxation when I did not think or worry about anything.  A friend once told me I think too much and she is so right.  So I shut down the think tank for a week and cleared out the gunk.

Meanwhile those issues, problems and circumstances didn’t go anywhere last week. No, they were still waiting for me upon my return.  But incredibly, even though I was not there to worry about them, my problems did not get any worse last week!  Yes the situations remain, but I am now recharged, refreshed and rejuvenated and in a much better condition to deal with them than just a week ago.

It will be a challenge to “re-engage” and actually care about things after escaping to “the island of no cares” (my new name for Sanibel) for a week.  I imagine Monday morning at work will be enough to slap me back into a “caring” reality.

The Best Thing I Saw On Vacation

No, it wasn’t the beach “bums”!  It was the awesome Sanibel sunrises.  People actually line the beach to view it.  It is beyond description. (See my daughter’s photo) It is so beautiful you have to be careful to occasionally glance away, because of course you are looking into the sun.  I actually gazed too long Tuesday morning and had some spots in my eyes for a few minutes.

The Thing I Won’t Miss

The sounds your rubber sandals make after they get wet.  I labeled these “the sandal farts”.

My Biggest Regret

I wore my new, orange, clam diggers to the beach, found a shovel and started digging for clams. Alas, I found no clams even though I was wearing the appropriate pants!  I thus had to pay for clams at the restaurant and those lazy bums didn’t even take them out of the shell for me! While digging for clams I noticed this woman watching me from behind.  After a few minutes I turned around and faced her.  She looked away suddenly, blushed, and then walked away. Why, I think she was staring at my bum!  She was a bum looker!  Okay, so she was a senior citizen.  At my age, I’ll take it.

My Biggest Surprise

I rented the 2014 Chevrolet Impala which recently won the “Best In Class Award” from Consumer Reports.  It is a tremendous ride.  I can not believe it is a Chevrolet!

Final Count From Sanibel Island – The Shelliest Beach in the U.S.A.:

Shells Collected: 0

Bums Looked At:  Okay, so I may have hit triple digits.  Next time I am going to take one of those hand-held counters.  I don’t think they make a “bum looking” app for a smart phone (but maybe they should).

I am happy to announce that I am working with Jimmy Buffet in writing the lyrics for his new, sure-to-be-a hit single, “I’m a Bum Looker”:

She raised up her bum
Then I spilled all my rum
And it carried on out to the sea
Yes, I’m just a bum looker
My eyes oh they took her ….

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