Ake's Pains debuted in the University of Akron Buchtelite in September of 1977. The school's reputation as an institute of higher learning has still not recovered. Ake's Pains returns after a brief 32 year hiatus. It's back, baby!

Friday, June 26, 2015

You Do Not Want To Be Fired In This Manner (RUU)

News Item: North Korea fires its defense chief

On the surface this is not unusual since the chief, Hyon Yong Choi, had fell asleep during meetings and had disobeyed his boss Kim Jong Un.  When your boss is a sadistic, evil, madman (which interestingly describes a couple of my previous bosses) and you perform poorly, you have a problem.

But Choi wasn’t just fired. He was fired upon.  We can now clearly ascertain that he “Did not meet expectations” in many areas on his last performance appraisal.  However this firing was not executed by a firing squad, it was by a single gunman.  How could they be sure the lone soldier would not miss the target? Because the shooter was operating a ZPU-4 anti-aircraft gun. The “target” was placed 100 feet away and the range of this weapon is about five
Hyon Go "boom"!
miles.  This is literally overkill.  They should have stuck poor Hyon on a distant mountain to make it more challenging and to give the shooter some target practice.  Hyon was gone on the first try.  I believe this would be considered both “cruel and unusual” punishment in the U.S.

Now when I was relieved from my job several years ago, the two people carrying out the execution were both @$$ho!e$.  Now you might think I am still bitter, but I’m not. The objective truth is that these people were @$$ho!e$ before they fired me but I didn’t realize it previously because they worked in a department called “Human Resources”.

As an employee you need to believe that Human Resource workers care about you and your welfare.  In reality, most H.R. management at larger companies are in fact @$$ho!e$ of the worst kind. They no doubt have to pass some secret @$$ho!e test to get their position.  So they have to pretend they are nice, decent, people and therefore the best H.R. managers are very skilled in the art of deception.  They have to be, because if employees discover just how big of @$$ho!e$ they truly are, the workers tend to run off screaming into the forest, sometimes naked, never to be heard from again.

And the two @$$ho!e$ who proceeded over my firing were huge, nasty, @$$ho!e$. Yes, just, filthy, extraordinary @$$ho!e$. If you tried to send them to classes to try to learn how not be @$$ho!e$, they would fail the class and fail it miserably. Because they are big @$$ho!e$ and will always be @$$ho!e$ until the day they die.

However, as big of @$$ho!e$ as they are, they did not shoot me with an anti-aircraft gun at close range. So perhaps I should cut them some slack.


  1. Sorry about your experience. The HR people at Nintendo were great.

  2. Funny how they call themselves Human Resources when they are actually anti human non resourceful people. At least that was my experience.