Here are my most enchanting memories of last year, which
never made it into a blog post. Now
there could be hundreds of these moments. However with my fading memory, I can only
remember two.
The Cats Invade
We watched my daughter’s two cats, Dede and Buddy, while
she prepared her house for sale. I liked having the cats in the house. I work
from home and enjoyed their company – on most days.
Generally, they were not a distraction and stayed out of
trouble. They are not bad cats; however, they are cats, nonetheless. Occasionally
they would jump on my desk while I was working, but never at the same time. If
I didn’t spend enough attention on him, Buddy would plop down on my computer
keyboard. “Try typing now, you so-called industry expert!”
One day,
Dede’s tail did
 |
| Buddy helping me finish a report |
suddenly appear on-screen during an internal video call, but
otherwise, no big deal.
But Cats are a lot like women when it comes to logic. They
are unpredictable and tend to do things for which there is no logical
explanation randomly.
And You’re Live
Every couple of months, I get to be a guest on the Road Dog
Trucking channel during Mark Willis’ show on SiriusXM radio as part of my work
in the trucking industry. It is very enjoyable to be interviewed for an hour on
national radio.
My session was just about to start when Buddy appears out
of nowhere and jumps on the desk. I never thought about shutting the office
door because it is mid-afternoon, and I have not seen the cats the entire day.
Why he waited for just this moment to jump on the desk is one of those random cat
actions.
This is distracting, but I can easily handle this. Buddy
just wants his head scratched, and as long as he doesn’t hit the keyboard,
which has a needed spreadsheet up, I am fine. I can quickly rub his ears and
set him back on the floor.
“We go live in 10 seconds”, the radio producer tells me.
And then without warning, Dede also jumps up on the desk.
Now I have a huge problem, a cat-astrophe waiting to happen. Never, ever,
before that critical moment, have both cats been on my desk at the same time.
Complicating things, although the cats live together, they don’t really like
each other, they tolerate each other. But the one thing that really sets them
off and usually leads to a literal catfight, is when one cat invades the
other’s territory.
For example, let’s say one cat has jumped up on a desk and
the other cat decides to jump up on the desk too.
I am in full panic mode trying to manage these cats, knowing
I am going live on national radio in a few seconds. I am supposed to be a
trucking industry expert, but two seconds before going live on national radio,
I am literally herding cats. I put my arm between the cats just as I hear Mark
say:
“Our special guest today is Don Ake! How have you been?”
This was kind of a surreal experience in that I started
talking to Mark, but my full attention was on the cats and the huge furry fight
that could spill over into my lap any second. I was talking, but I really wasn’t
aware of what I was saying. But I soon realized I had to refocus on the radio
show before I said something stupid or unintelligible such as: “I believe the
key issue in trucking today is the coughing up of hairballs on the road.”
Fortunately, the cats moved to opposite sides of the desk.
Buddy was disappointed I wasn’t paying any attention to him and jumped off the far
end of the desk. As soon as he left the room, I grabbed Dede and sat her on the
floor. Cat crisis averted. Thousands of truckers were spared hearing a live catfight
on the radio; such an awful distraction could have led to several dangerous
accidents on the road.
As soon as I stopped hyper-ventilating, I went on the have
a great show with Mark. All in a day’s work! Sometimes I just love working from
home.
And the second one ....
Wait Your Turn, Old Lady, Wait Your Turn
I was standing in a long line, waiting to check out at a deep-discount
store. There was only one line open since the back-up cashiers were busy stock
shelves. Finally, the announcement was made over the loudspeaker that another
cashier was needed.
Now, by that time, I was third in line. Which means I would
be first in line when the second cashier was ready. The store layout makes it
impractical for the second person in line to back up and move over to the new
line. As I waited for the second cashier to get ready, I noticed the old lady
behind me very subtly angling her cart towards the second register.
I know she was elderly because I had been standing in front
of her for what now seemed like hours, hearing her rambling on about the cost
of rugs and what a great deal she was getting on those in her cart. I casually
glance back and notice her cart is full of merchandise, while I only have five
items in my basket.
The second cashier turns her light on, looks directly at
me, and says
“I will take the next person.”
With that, the old lady pushes fast and hard on her cart to
be first in line at the second register. But she doesn’t move an inch. She now
resets and pushes even harder the second time, but the result is the same. The
cart doesn’t budge!
How could this be? Why isn’t her cart barreling toward the
cashier at warp speed? Well, it appears that somebody, maybe a large middle-aged
guy, perhaps with a shaved-head, had firmly, but subtlety grabbed the front of
her cart, impeding her progress and thwarting her plan.
When she quit pushing the second time, I quickly slipped
around her cart to the second cashier and set my products on the counter. The
old woman was so stunned she never moved her cart, meaning not only wasn’t she first
in the new line, she was in third place in the first one.
Then the bitchin’ started about the mean man who had
grabbed her cart. The cashier glanced up at me and said softly, “But you
were next in line.”
I double finger-gunned her and replied, “And that’s why you're
ringing me up now, darlin’.”
I had to walk past the old woman as I left the store, and
she again started bitchin’ at me. Now, who do think possesses the bigger month?
Get that weak stuff out of here, old woman. Either bring it strong or don’t
bring it at all. It was her second big mistake of the day but probably made a
good story at the bridge club.
I know I could have just left her cut in line, but it is
the principle that counts. And perhaps I provided a public service, teaching
her the lesson of taking your proper turn. Maybe next time she won’t rudely
shove her cart in front of someone. Alright, so we all know that’s not going to
happen, but at least I tried.
