A Beginning Sidebar
I was new at the company
when my sheep‑head boss (I had so many) used an expression I had never heard
before. I had told him that another manager didn’t like his idea, and he
exclaimed:
“Wilson doesn’t know his a$$
from a hole in the ground!”
I found the expression
rather tacky. Even a severely handicapped person knows the difference — one is
attached to you and needed for a bodily function, while the other can be easily
seen, doesn’t follow you around, and usually doesn’t smell that bad.
The expression was born in early 20th‑century rural
America. No one takes credit for it because it is so stupid. The only reason it
caught on is that it uses the word a$$. Unfortunately, my boss used it
frequently. I have never used it, but it came to mind as I started thinking
about this topic -
My past is literally disappearing ……
First My School
My high school was a great school. Despite being located in
the blue‑collar section of the city and
not receiving the financial support of the upper‑echelon and lower‑echelon schools, if you studied and worked
hard, you received a quality education.
We had graduates go on to Harvard and other prestigious
universities. They became doctors, lawyers, scientists, etc. While my college
degree and career were less impressive, my claim to fame was being quoted
multiple times in the Wall Street Journal.
But at some point, the school administration lowered its
standards. There were violent acts in the building, and the quality of
education plummeted. So many students escaped to alternative schools that the
administration claimed they had to close the school. No, they didn’t close the
school — they killed it.
They combined the few remaining students with students in
an adjacent district to form a new joint $hi++y school. They built a brand-new,
shiny school building as a result, and now have a bigger, brighter $hi++y
school to conduct their $hi++y classes. The $hi++y school after a President who was shot dead –
just like they killed education in this city. It’s now a fluke to get any
impressive graduate out of that $hi++y school, and more likely that students
there will end up quoted in the prison newsletter than anywhere else.
They demolished my old high school. Now …
I can’t tell my past from a hole in the ground.
Then My Church
It was the first church I ever attended. I went there only
to play in the junior basketball league, but soon after found Jesus. At one
point, the church touted itself as the largest in the world.
It was a great place, great people, great programs, great
services. That church helped thousands of people and was a community
institution. I have so many cherished memories of events in that building.
One of the best happened in the church gymnasium. By that
time, I had graduated to the men’s basketball league. In my first season, we
were the best team in the league. I was a mere role player, averaging just four
points a game. However, in the league championship game, I played the best
basketball game of my life. In the second half, our best player had to sit out
due to foul trouble, and the opposition quickly cut our 11‑point lead down to three. In
the next ten minutes of the game, I scored 17 points. To put that into
perspective, if I scored at that rate for an entire game, I would have scored
68 points. I finished with 23 points and earned the game's Most Valuable Player
award.
But then someone made a disastrous decision regarding
leadership succession. This was followed by a series of bad decisions,
resulting in the church's closure, the building's abandonment, and its decay
over several years. Finally, they tore down the entire structure, including the
gym. Now,
I can’t tell my past from a hole in the ground.
Finally, My Tennis Courts
They were the first tennis courts I ever played on. They
were very basic courts at the local park, black asphalt with only the lines
painted. One summer, I basically lived on those courts — I wore out two pairs
of tennis shoes that year. My old tennis court
I made the tennis team in my senior year of high school and
played second doubles. It was on these courts that we battled North High for
second place in the city series, which was the best we could ever accomplish
since yuppie Firestone High would finish first every year with their second
team.
The contest came down to the second doubles match. Both
teams and coaches watched, cheering on every point. My partner and I easily
took set one, but North rallied to take set two. The third set was tight the
entire way and went to a tiebreaker. Fifty years later, I can still remember
the easy shot at the net I had to win the match — except I flubbed and hit the
ball into the net. Fortunately, we won the match two points later, and a
massive celebration ensued.
But I recently found out they are ripping up the tennis
courts. (The photo is days before demolition) My first thought was, “But where is the tennis team going to practice
and play?” Then I sadly realized that wasn’t an issue because there is no
longer a tennis team, since there is no longer a high school. Now:
I can’t tell my past from a hole in the ground.
The Replacements
On the school site, a shiny new elementary school and arts
building is being built. I’m sure the teachers will try hard, but eventually
these students will end up at that $hi++y high school across town. At least
some of the fat kids will learn to play the tuba at the arts school.
On the church site, a huge warehouse for that giant
retailer Megazon is being built. A church building where people were cautioned
against consuming too much is being replaced by a structure that encourages
people to consume too much. There is no better example of our cultural decline
than this. Now, people who should be in church on Sunday morning can get
deliveries of crap on Sunday morning.
The tennis courts will be replaced by skateboard ramps. Yes, the ramps will be used more than the tennis courts — but nobody ever broke their arm on the tennis court — so good luck to you, whippersnappers!
Yeah, I’m Old
Change is difficult - even more difficult when they rip up
your past. It’s becoming challenging to understand this crazy world. I get
confused so easily. And now:
I can’t tell my past from a hole in the ground.
