What’s All This Chatter About Belichick’s Chick?

Internet chat boards are all ablaze with vicious comments on former NFL coach Bill Belichick's relationship with his girlfriend, Jordon Hudson. And "girlfriend" is the optimal term here since there is a 48-year age gap between Belichick, 72, and Hudson, 24. 

And I, too, would like to condemn this scandalous coupling. It is salac … It is perve … It is just plain wro, wro, wro … Well, for my entire life, I had viewed these types of relationships negatively, but now I am a M.O.A.C.A. (Man Of A Certain Age), and that has changed my perspective. Especially when you consider that Jordon, is one hot piece of ah … she is an attractive young lady – well, emphasis on young – very young, and you can debate the lady part amongst yourselves.

Now, I will admit I have some bias. When my wife and I decided we would have no more children, I had to decide if I wanted a vasectomy. I declined because I said that many years in the future, I could find myself widowed. Suppose I met a much younger woman who wanted to have children. If I couldn’t reproduce, the relationship would be doomed, so no getting snipped for me! When I explained this to people, they guffawed and looked at me aghast. “What is the chance of that?” they exclaimed. “I don’t know, but if it happened, it would be too much of an opportunity to miss," I explained. And now, Bill Belichick has vindicated my decision. This makes me feel giddy and warm all over. Okay, so I just feel warm in one place, but that’s not important.

Now, I would never defend Bill, no, not in a million years … but it is obvious that she initiated the relationship. They met when she was 22 years old. It is not socially acceptable behavior for a guy north of the 40-yard line to hit on a 22-year-old, so it’s way out-of-bounds at age 70.

Perhaps she has issues. Maybe “daddy issues” – okay, maybe granddaddy issues. But can you really expect a 70-year-old guy to resist the advances of a smoking-hot 22-year-old on moral, cultural, ethical, or any other grounds? As a M.O.A.C.A., I contend that you cannot. Any "functional" guy is going to "go for it". And Bill has "gotten it"; therefore, you cannot expect him to let go of it, no matter what people say on the Internet.

Again, I would never condone or defend Bill's outrageous actions but here are some reasons the relationship may be truly legit or too legit to quit, in this instance.

Reasons the Relationship Could Be Legitimate

1.    It Could Really Be Love

Love is a strange and mysterious thing. Sometimes, it defies all logic and explanations. It is a many splendored thing. On Valentine’s Day, Jordon posted eleven declarations about her love for Bill in response to the Internet criticism. Has your woman ever done that for you? I think the woman is in love.

 2.    Maybe Jordon is a Huge Football Fan

Belichick has six Super Bowl rings, and she is a former cheerleader. If this is the thing that turns Jordon on, no other man on the planet, except for Tom Brady, can compare. This would make Bill her Super Stud.

 3.    Maybe Jordon Really Is Happy

This thing is not just an infatuation. The relationship has been going on for three years. If Jordon is truly happy and satisfied with this thing, who are we to question it?

4.    Does It Matter If She Is in For the Money? 

Many online barbs claim Jordon is just in it for the money. That may be true, but isn’t that her choice? It’s not like this type of arrangement doesn’t happen a million times worldwide in various forms each day. 

We really don’t know the financial details of the relationship because, think about it, it’s none of our business. They are just dating, so she is benefiting from having a wealthy boyfriend, something many women desire. There have been wedding rumors, and this would change the financial dynamics. But you would think that Bill might hire Scott Boras (sports agent known for his brutal negotiation skills) to handle the prenup details. 

5.    The Sex is Probably Adequate

Various young women have commented that the idea of sex with a M.O.A.C.A. is repulsive. These types of comments are ageist, hurtful, and uninformed. With a blue pill, the lights off, and a romantic spark, Jordon is probably satisfied. I know Bill is satisfied! Again, they have been a couple for almost three years – so I doubt she finds the sex disgusting. 

The Downside to this Relationship

This relationship does have an unfortunate byproduct. Because of Bill’s stunning conquest, M.O.A.C.A.s everywhere will begin, okay intensify, hitting on gorgeous women in their 20s. The M.O.A.C.A.s will descend on young singles’ bars like locusts. “Hey, if Bill Belichick can bag a young hottie, why can’t I?” The fact that they lack six Super Bowl rings and multi-millions will not deter them. Unfortunately, M.O.A.C.A.s have lost some of their reasoning skills, and being men, they never had any relationship skills to begin with.

Let the Lovebirds Be!

Not that I would ever defend this relationship because, of course, I would never do that, but could everybody just chill about this? Mind your own business and let love prevail. Jordon seemed perturbed at all the criticism, but her response showed it had no impact. And as a M.O.A.C.A., I can assure you that Bill was not dissuaded. There is a reason he is smiling so broadly in every photograph of the couple.