WORLD PEACE
HAS ELBOWED SOMEONE IN THE HEAD!!!!!!!!!
I am not
making this up. It is the absolute
truth:
WORLD PEACE
HAS ELBOWED SOMEONE IN THE HEAD!!!!!!!!!
A bit of
clarification is in order. Before the
pro basketball season began, Ron Artest of the Los Angeles Lakers legally
changed his name to “Metta World Peace”.
He did this either to promote love and harmony on the planet or because
he is an attention whore. He was having
a very peaceful season until recently when during a game; he violently elbowed
an opposing player in the head giving him a concussion. And therefore:
WORLD PEACE
HAS ELBOWED SOMEONE IN THE HEAD!!!!!!!!!
If you are
going to carry the name of World Peace, your mission in life becomes to promote
world peace everywhere and in everything you do. And that includes when somebody tries to
steal the basketball away from you. If
your name is World Peace, you absolutely cannot go around elbowing people in
the head.
Because of
this shocking incident, I believe there should be qualifications if you change
your name to something of significance.
In this case, if you want the name “World Peace” you should have to
prove you are fully committed to the cause.
That’s right; I would only give this name to a dope-smoking hippie.
You would be
required to have long hair, a headband and a beard. But you would have to bathe at least once a
week (difficult to promote World Peace is you smell offensive). And you would have to pass a drug test. Of course this drug test would be unique in
that you would have to test positive for marijuana, the higher the content, the
better. This would prove you are a
genuine hippie and it would also mean you are mellow enough to not elbow
someone in the head. And as you know
this is important because:
WORLD PEACE
HAS ELBOWED SOMEONE IN THE HEAD!!!!!!!!!
I think as
punishment World Peace should be forced to change his name to: “I Elbowed
Someone in the Head”. This name would be more fitting and would serve as a deterrent
in case you were tempted to elbow someone in the head. This new name would be very cumbersome when
filling out forms. It would be awkward
when introducing yourself to new people and it would be embarrassing when
ordering pizza.
And he should
be punished. President Obama has worked
very hard to establish world peace, except for in Syria, Iran, Afghanistan and
those other unspellable places. Now all
this has all been ruined because:
WORLD PEACE
HAS ELBOWED SOMEONE IN THE HEAD!!!!!!!!!
What type of
example do we set when we have World Peace getting all irritated and going off
like a madman and elbowing someone in the head?
Do we really expect the tyrants in Darfur to respect us when we have
this type of hijinks occurring? Come on America, we are so much better than
that!
And now as a
result of this incident something even worse has happened. The NBA commissioner has suspended World
Peace for seven games, which is about two weeks of time. You read that correctly, please do not panic,
but:
WORLD PEACE
HAS BEEN SUSPENDED FOR TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!
Now you know
all types of hell are going to break loose around the world because of this. We may not even have to wait for the Mayan
calendar to expire before the apocalypse hits.
Because WORLD
PEACE HAS ELBOWED SOMEONE IN THE HEAD, the following things have happened:
North Korea
has threatened to give South Korea a noogie of “unprecedented and peculiar
means”.
Iran is
making plans to poke Israel in the eye.
Even
Switzerland is rumored to be considering kicking Austria square between the
Alps
All this
needless violence, just because:
WORLD PEACE
HAS ELBOWED SOMEONE IN THE HEAD!!!!!!!!!
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